The only way out is through.
It must have been 20 ish minutes in. I felt the drums, the music playing as if a private concert was playing in my bedroom. I began to notice the buzzing initially, in my hands, my knees, and then in my feet. These points on my body became extremely heavy, as if they were nailed to the ground. Yet, this was not at all painful, it was as if I was paper, placed magnets throughout my body to keep me from falling. I sensed my body moving through something. I allowed the energy to move freely throughout.
An image of Jesus on the cross flashed through my mind as I lay there feeling nailed to the floor. I noticed myself looking for someone to remove me from this metaphorical cross I felt magnetically attached to. Sweat dripped from the small of my back. 2 distinct child hood memories flashed through my mind and I sensed various pulses in my body. Several minutes later I began slightly convulsing, the tears came and I surrendered to them. I gave in to the sporadic sounds that exited my mouth and surrendered to the movements my body continued to make. With each sound released, and tear released, I felt lighter. I can’t even imagine how I must have looked, but none of that mattered.
Then the message came loud and clear.
“You are not here to be saved.” “You do not need saving.” “No one needs to save you”
Over and over again these words permeated my being throughout the remainder of the breath journey, an hour, 2 hours, I lost track of time. I went somewhere else.
I continued to feel the profound release and lightness throughout my muscles. I sensed a soft smile on my face begin to form, the tears subsided. I waited for more, but there were none left. Freedom, the space that had opened throughout my chest, stomach, head, shoulders and all over as the phrase again came to me, “You do not need saving” and “No one needs you to save them.”
Relief. I felt my body lower and detach from the magnetization on the floor. I was free, light as a feather. I slowly opened my eyes as my breathing returned to normal, half expecting my body to look 20 pounds lighter as I felt.
This was my first breathwork journey. 2 hours of conscious connected circular breathing with an hour of pre and post integration and processing.
What is Circular Breathwork?
Kaya Leigh, Founder of Sacred Breath Academy, describes it as the following, “Circular Breathwork is the term for consciously controlling our breath through a connected or circular pattern without pause. Circular Breathwork is defined as: An experiential practice and self-healing modality that uses conscious, connected breathing to access expanded states of consciousness, while simultaneously unlocking repressed emotions and clearing stagnant energy from the mind, body and spirit. It can further help us to establish new neural pathways in the brain and cultivate deeper emotional and relational intelligence to embody in our lives.”
“It should be understood that exclusively nose-inhale cycles or purely diaphragmatic breathing are what activates the PNS (Parasympathetic Nervous System: the bodies rest and restore response). Otherwise, mouth-inhale circular breathwork actually activates the sympathetic or “fight or flight” state.”
“Circular Breathwork allows us to break out of the overthinking mind, or “monkey” mind, (beta brainwave) and enter into a higher brainwave (alpha, theta or occasionally gamma brainwave) i.e. an expanded state of consciousness. Here, you may access the unconscious mind to unlock embedded imprints, programmed narratives or self-limiting beliefs for illumination. Essentially, we can become conscious to our unconscious influences. Circular Breathwork also allows us to tap into the limbic brain, where repressed emotions and memories are stored.” – Kaya Leigh
To simply allow the body to move through, to release, and to heal, and allow its innate wisdom to arise without having to understand and intellectualize every detail is the true beauty I’m finding in breathwork.
As I continue to integrate I’m sure the meaning will become more clear but for now this is enough.
Sometimes things are meant to be simply experienced, not understood.
I will share the following from Kaya in my week 1 course training as it gives a beautiful synopsis of just how powerful this tool right underneath our noses can be once we are ready to learn to use it to its fullest capacity.
“For thousands of years masters have found by changing the rate, ratio, volume and flow of the respiratory cycle, there can be experiential and perceptual shifts in consciousness and more attuned self-awareness. More recently, when applied therapeutically, the shifts experienced in conscious, connected breathing has been proven to ignite a deeper sense of inner connection, somatic intelligence, emotional empowerment and psycho-spiritual integration”
“In order to release that which holds us back from actualizing our higher potential, soul’s purpose and personal genius, we must first intimately and lovingly meet these contracted textures, connect to and commune with them, deeply be with them, tend to them, honor them, and finally integrate their wisdom before we may set them free.”
“The gift of breathwork is that there is nowhere to hide. Through this sacred practice, one must gently, compassionately and courageously meet themselves in complete presence to what is. Because lovingly holding ourselves through the discomfort to glean its deep wisdom IS THE WORK. If the student is ready, breathwork is a gateway to the miraculous. And the breath itself is the master teacher, healer and guide, no outside sources required.”
“Breathwork can catalyze a powerful cellular healing process in the breather that is difficult to put into words and can only be experienced. Many call it “energy surgery”. Once the channels are fully open, breathwork may further take one into the mystical states of knowing, awareness and consciousness.”
-Kaya Leigh, Founder of Sacred Breathwork Academy
Breathwork in its own way is said to be a kind of emotional hygiene. It allows us to clear and integrate stuck, buried, blocked emotions that prevents life force energy from expressing itself creatively, abundantly, and vastly through us.
There is nothing to be afraid of as we start to become more conscious of what is in fact already influencing us. If we can only muster up the courage as we embark on this journey of becoming the detectives of our own beliefs, becoming more lucid to what is affecting our moment to moment behaviors, actions, and entire experience of life, only then can we experience true and total freedom.