What are the odds of 1 in 4 trillion? Me and you, that’s what. Absolute miracles is what we are.
Celebrating my 27th year around the sun today and I’d like to share something only a few people know about me. This is a short tale that is deeply personal and well, special. What you are about to read is a testament to life’s infinite organizing power, illustrating that the odds are in fact forever in our favor, despite what we had initially hoped for, preferred, or expected.
My conception was far from natural or even acceptable for the times. My mother was 36 years young and deeply wanted to be a mother, but didn’t have a man in her life to do the job. So, being the independent action oriented woman she is, she took matters into her own hands and decided to have me artificially inseminated.
My biological father was not her first choice. In fact, he was her third choice, but she told me she knew deep down it must have been for a reason, so she just went with the flow. From the moment she was told she was pregnant she felt the excitement deep down. Not even a few week’s later when she returned to the doctors office he didn’t even initially believe her. To get pregnant on the first try was almost unheard of. When the lab woman came back and confirmed that yes, my mother was in fact pregnant, she smiled knowing again it was meant to be, her third choice little miracle.
The pregnancy was easy, my mother didn’t even gain over 30 pounds. She felt fantastic, well until the last week. I arrived one week early and baby I was ready. I came on a Friday evening. Our first night together was magic as I slept peacefully on her chest the whole night through. She took me home the following morning, on Mothers Day. ❤️️
My mom tells me as I grew up I always had a deep curiosity for everything and everyone, and always had to smell things first. 🤔 Apparently I also trusted everything and everybody, which didn’t always pan out in my favor, but she tells me it softened and opened up her heart immensely, showing her that people are capable of doing good things just because and not everyone has an “angle” or wants something in return from you.
She said as I grew up everything was special for me, the things I tried, the people I encountered, the places I went. She used to tell me how lucky I was. However, recently she said she had an Ah ha moment. Maybe, the reason everything always turned out to be so special for me wasn’t really about the places, people, things I encountered but it was just who I was and how I saw the world.
BOOM. How’s that for a third choice! 😎
So here we are in present day. It’s May and it snowed last night. WTF. Definitely not my first choice. This last year around the sun was nothing like I had expected. Genuinely nothing. It was not the adventure I had planned or hoped for. And it certainly hadn’t manifested like I had initially thought. In fact I had witnessed nearly half of the year trapped in the confines of my mind, in somewhat of a spiritual dilemma, searching for the answer to a question that had lead me to my own self induced suffering, summed up pretty accurately in The Abyss Into Self Realization.
This year I had worked for exciting projects I felt truly aligned with only to watch them go just as quickly as they came. I had lived at home for a full year now, somewhere I never imagined myself residing. The mountain that I had withdrawn from, pushed away for so long now wrapped around me like a quilt I never wanted to take off.
None of the last year had occurred in a way that I imagined or even preferred. I didn’t get what I wanted nor what I thought I needed, but received a far more valuable gift, which seems to still be manifesting its magic as we speak. Perhaps this year was a third choice kind of year and it seems like those turn out to be miracles too.
As for this next year of life, hell if I know. 😷 I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever happens, life will again do its thing for me this year, as it did for my mother 27 years ago, presenting her with not her first, second, but third choice. This year around the sun will pass by as the rest of them have, probably fairly quickly. I read something a few days ago that referred me to Einstein’s theory of special relativity which says this,
“ Time slows down or speeds up depending on how fast you move relative to something else.
According to Einstein, this means time isn’t something that happens to us or is this external force we are enslaved by or fall victim to. This tells me time is defined by how we relate to it, the rate at which we slow down or speed up or thoughts. If I could do anything this next year around the sun I wish to take back time, to slow down my thoughts, and recognize the infinite organizing power this year, this week, this day, this moment has.
I write this as a reminder, mostly for me, to slow down, Einstein style, and recognize that everything is aligning perfectly in our lives, even life’s third choices.😉
Please subscribe if you enjoyed anything about this short tale. And thank you for listening to the story of me.❤️️